Thursday, October 28, 2010
I went to the doctor this morning, Chris went with me. No changes in my meds this time, but some changes in lifestyle. I am supposed to turn over the money, checkbook and debit card to Chris. Which is hard, I'm used to having it all the time. I'm also supposed to start with a very small and very easy list of 3 things to do a day. After 2 weeks I'm supposed to add 1 thing to the list and keep going from there. This is supposed to keep me from getting overwhelmed. I am also to do 1 thing a week that makes me feel good, and to focus on positive things since I've been feeling so down. Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can dig myself out of this hole. I feel so helpless, kinda lost in the middle of it all. I can't even begin to know where to start. It feels like everything is over my head. So maybe these things will help me and I will get back on track.
Monday, October 18, 2010
That's the name of the song I'm listening to right now. Love me some TobyMac and John Cooper!! However, it is an appropriate title. I got a new puppy. She is a 6 week old BullBoxer. She is absolutely adorable. I named her Satchel. I am hoping that she will give me a little boost and help me. Help me move more out of the depression and help me be able to get out and be more social. Lots of hopes riding on such a tiny little thing. But I have to have that hope, the other side of that is darker than I can bear to think about. So, I pin a ton of my hopes on little Satchel.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Well, this morning I am sitting in the car with Chris waiting to leave on a field trip with Attie's class when my phone rings. It's the school, they need me to come to the office because Kaelyn got caught stealing from the school's little store in the office. Needless to say I was not happy. I go in and talk to the counselor and to Kaelyn. I did not yell...for that I am proud. I call my mother to come and get her, because they suspended her until I can have a meeting with the principal. (who was in a meeting at the time) Chris decides to skip the trip and stay home to deal with Kaelyn, so he hops out of the car as we are pulling out. We had a good time at Tate Farms, despite Attie being overwhelmed by the sheer number of people there. Lots of good pics and she did have a good time. We even stopped for ice cream on the way home. She got a cute little pumpkin and I got a medium sized one. I always love the pumpkin patch field trip....it's my favorite. So, I get back home and talk to Kaelyn. We go over everything, the punishments, the reasons she should never do this again...all that stuff. I am just not sure what to do, this is the 2nd time this year she's been caught stealing. So, even though she is grounded...I don't see it having a lasting effect...she just got ungrounded from the first time and then turned around and did it again. Her counselor suggested having a parole officer talk to her and I thought about taking her for a tour of the jail. Try to scare the crap out of her with where this little problem could land her. I'm just baffled. I give my kids everything I can. They know stealing is wrong. This should be a cake walk decision. Why is she choosing wrong? I have no answer for this....it's frustrating!!!