Salad Cream

I just had a dream that was a 15 on the weirdness scale. It was so random, that I have actually gotten out of bed to blog about it at 2 in the morning. And the reason it was so odd....was the use of the words "Salad Cream". How often in your life (unless you are British) do you have a dream where the words salad cream are used? Here's the dream as I remember it...be amazed people, be ver amazed. I was at the old Union Grove Church as a youth and we were practicing for a play about the crucifiction of Jesus Christ. For some strange reason I was under a twin bunk bed in the room...don't ask, I can't explain it. However, apparently I was very ill. So at some point during the beating of Christ, I decide to crawl out from under the bed and head for the door. Now the dream morphs into the actual play going on and as I am crawling toward the door, I hear the line that I am supposed to respond to in the play...which is: "Something, something and get the salad cream". The words salad cream were delivered in none other than Kryten's voice from Red Dwarf. You can not make this stuff up. So I make it outside and now I am actually on my feet, limping towards my car. My old burgundy car that I owned circa 1999. This actually makes a little sense, because I would have had this car as a member of the youth group...just not at that church. Well, I get in the car and peel out towards home, buckling my seatbelt as I drive. And in this dream, I suddenly notice that it is very dark. Like, so dark I can't really see even with headlights. This apparently does not bother me, though I do remember feeling alarmed in my brain at the density of the darkness. And apparently now my car had super handling, because now in order to turn all I have to do is think about it. So, I'm in the car, it's dark and I'm speeding down the road to home. My parents home. I am aware that I need to change lanes in order to turn, but I can't because there are cars there, so I'm looking at them and make eye contact with the black girl driving her Tron like car next to me. So somehow I get over and turn and now suddenly I'm on a bicycle going down Irby Circle...though in my dream it looked more like the road into Sleepy Hollow. And the girl from the car and another girl are tagging along behind me on foot. I seemed to be pleased with this development. Well, I get home and for some reason my house is laid out like the church. I get to what would have been the door at the top of the stairway at the church and open it, only to find my mother standing there informing me that the youth director called about me leaving in the middle of a play. I respond with a smart remark about the youth director worrying too much, we laugh, I head to what is my room. Which is actually some kind of apartment that is laid out like a bad sitcom. Where the other 2 girls have gone I have no idea. I am speaking to my mother as I walk and I am taking off a jacket. Might I mention that in this dream I am very thin and hollywood teenager looking. (there's some inner oddness for you to wrap your head around) I am in my little apartment room and I am getting a drink from the fridge when out from my kitchen walks a black guy named Tony. Who apparently was the black girl mentioned before and only now is a black guy named Tony. Who had apparently taken a wrong turn in trying to get back to the main highway and ended up in what appears to be my kitchen. Tony is talking to some other guy, who is not seen. I laugh and tell him he has taken a wrong turn and offer him some form of electrolyte drink. No, I am not kidding. It was at this point that Chris comes to bed. (In real life) So I kind of wake up and take stock of this dream that I have just had. The fact that I dreamed about salad cream hits me and I share with Chris my findings on the state of my mind while dreaming. Then I decided to blog about it. Now to you reading this, all of it was probably odd. However, to me, the most odd thing about it was being asked to get the salad cream during the beating of Christ. Now I'm no psychologist or anything, but I would have to say that this all points to my mind being the consistency of scrambled eggs. I'm sure that having read this, you would agree. Salad cream? Really? For the next 3 weeks all I am going to be able to think about is Kryten saying salad cream...and that people is how my mind works.

Our little obsessions

I was just pestering Chris about his obsession with chickens and it got me to thinking. Don't we all have those little, silly obsessions? Like me with the color pink, which has led to a Pinkie Pie obsession and various other pink themed issues. And Emma...the child is obsessed with frogs and toads...she loves them. Attie is slightly obsessed with anything ipad/ipod related...lol. Kaelyn likes various odd things as well. *I would like to point out that Emma and Chris have the obsessions that require food and water.* So, I wonder...what are the silly obsessions that rule your lives?

The sickness continues

We here at the Vaughn house have been cursed with sickness for a couple of months now. If it was not one thing....it was another, the kids were passing sickness back and forth and sinus infections were given out all around. Well, now it's mommies turn apparently. I've had some sort of stomach bug for a week. I am seriously considering seeing a doctor tomorrow...that should tell you something right there. I feel like my body should be totally empty...but somehow it's not. And that sucks. I am totally drained, from being dehydrated most likely. I've never been one to volunteer for a needle, but a bag of fluids would not go amiss right now.

When did that happen?

At some point, I grew up. When did that happen? When did I leave the me, me, me of youthfulness and head into the role of caretaker of others? I'm not talking about becoming a mom. Any woman can become a mom with a little practice. I'm talking about being a person that others seek out for comfort and serious council. When did I cross the line and become that person? It kind of took me by suprise, to be honest. I never saw myself in that role. I am totally a self centered person in my view. I think about me and my family and what we need. But I find myself in more and more situations where people are confiding in me, trusting me with things they have not trusted other people with. When did I become responsible enough for that? I think there is a little self doubt, as there always is. But maybe a little smile too, that I have grown to be someone people can feel comfortable talking to. Have I come so far in my journey that now I can begin to give back? Have I made it to that milestone? Should I be scared that I have? Lots of questions. Have I in 3 long years of therapy made that much progress...is it even possible? Is there a light at the end of my tunnel that I can glimpse at now? Is that ever elusive normalacy just around the corner for me? I know that I feel more comfortable in my own skin now days, which is quite the acomplishment. I feel more comfortable around others too. I laugh more, I joke more. I smile alot more. I have more memories. My children smile more, heck, Chris even smiles more. It feels strange to achieve a goal. More strange to have achieved it and not realized it and then it suddenly hits you in the face to get your attention. I think I'm liking this new me. There's still plenty of the sarchasm of the old me in there, the snarky humor. But I also have found that smiling is fun and laughing is even better. I have friends now...real ones. Ones that I can call on and know they will back me up. I have never really had that before. I have added to my family people I never thought of and people I would have never been comfortable with before. But I still come back to the original question...when did it all happen? I'm not sure, but I think it's here to stay.

It's been a while...

I've been alive...just coasting along.  Attie has been very sick this past week...so it's been alot of cuddling and doctor appointments.  They switched her to Omnicef and it seems to be working...she's had less fever the past 24 hours.  Kaelyn and Emma are sick as well, sinus infections...but nothing near Attie's level.  I will be glad when the sickness is gone!!
2 more days of school left and summer begins!!!  I am looking forward to it.  I am planning a trip to the zoo this summer...it's been years since we've been.  I think we are long overdue for some zoo fun!  Chris and I start back to school the 24th of May, yay.  I will have a class on Tuesdays that I have to be on campus for and I think his is Wednesday nights.  I'm looking forward to it...being useful again or at least it makes me feel that way.  I'm taking 2 computer courses, a math refresher and a first aid class.  I will find out in June if I made it into the Medical Billing and Coding program.  I really hope I did...lol.
We found some really neat old burlap coffee sacks at Mike's and we bought a bunch of them and turned them into curtains.  They look really good.  I have found a love for repurposing things.  Chris also built a chicken pen out of some grid rack we had left over from the old Petblah days...repurposing!!!!  I love it!!!  I am running late on Spring pictures, everytime I get a day where we can go...it rains.  Gotta love the weather.  I am hoping that Attie will feel well enough by mid week and we can go to the park and do a set then.  I've gotta figure out clothing for them...hmm..what to dress them in????  I did some retouches to a few snap shots and printed them out as 8 x 10's and they look super.  I did them over saturated and they just pop.  I'm going to put them in my little hallway.  I will try to post a pic when they are up.  I have them framed, but we are having to rewire the frames and that's not done yet.
Well, that's all I can think to blab about.  Lots of things, lots of sickness.  Till next time...TTFN!!!

A Sad Day

We will be attending my uncle's funeral today. He was a great man and will be missed. I can't say I'm all torn up about it though...I'm more grateful. Grateful that he did not have to suffer from lung cancer and went quickly. That is really a blessing, that he was spared all the suffering of a long battle with cancer. I will miss him greatly, but I know he's happier and healthier where he is. That is a great comfort to me. He lived a long, happy, healthy life. Rest in peace, Cecil...you have earned it..I love you!

A Wonderful Weekend!

I just have to share what a wonderful weekend I had. I went to the Ladies Conference down in Montgomery with the ladies from New Life. We had such a blessed weekend and I really got blessed. I also received freedom from all the doubt that has been plaguing my mind. My mind is my weakest point and I was just constantly under attack with doubt and fear, but after Friday night that was all shattered!!! I feel like I have more confidence now and a better understanding of how the devil attacks me through my mind and I have picked up some new ways to shut him down and get rid of all the negativity. It' s just so freeing!!! Ok...I'm gonna give you a run down of what happened, because I feel I am supposed to share what happened to me. We got down there Friday morning and went straight in to the first service and I just couldn't get into it...I was just kinda numb. I thought maybe it was the trip down. We got out of service, grabbed some lunch and did a little shopping and went to the hotel to get ready for evening service. We got there that evening and found a place on the side of the stage where we could sit in the front row. I was sitting on the last chair of the front row. I listened to the message and sat there and I heard it, I remember it, but I wasn't all there. Then it was alter call and the Spirit was really moving, but I could not move. I couldn't get up out of my seat, it was like fear and doubt were ropes holding me there and I was watching everyone and all that was in my mind was negativity. "Look at these people, look what they are doing, they are crazy, this is a cult, this is bad, you don't need to be around this, this is wrong, what they are doing it wrong," all that and more over and over again in my mind and I still could not stand up. I don't remember how I came to be standing at last, but I remember Sister Dillon coming off the stage to pray with someone that was close to me and then she came to me, and took my hands and she started to pray with me and she looked my right in the eyes and said, "He's lying to you, everything he's telling you is a lie. He's a liar and he can't take this from you" And she said many more words as she prayed with me, but those are the words I remember loud and clear. And it was just like glass shattering, all that doubt and fear just broke into millions of little pieces and went scattering about. It was almost as if I could see it shattering. And I felt so happy, I began praying with her and finally speaking in tongues and crying. It was just the greatest thing in the world to have all that fear, all that doubt broken away from me. I don't think I quit crying until we started home! So that is what happened to me this weekend. Oh, there's more...don't doubt that..it was a wonderful weekend and Sunday was just as great. Kaelyn got the Holy Ghost and Attie got saved and both Emma and Attie got baptized and Greg and Kelly came for a visit and we had an amazing prayer service. I feel like I got to live on the mountain top for the weekend, to see that there really is hope. Chris and I have been so stressed and so down, even though we are happy in Jesus, the stress is still real and there is more stress ahead for us, but it was so nice to have this weekend on top of the world. To have that reminder that good things are coming, all we have to do is follow and obey...