Very tired...

So, two steps forward, three steps back.  Yay.  I've had bad reactions to the medications that have been tried.  Was allergic to one, the other messed me up pretty bad.  Lots of stress at home as you could imagine.  So a minor fuss this morning saw me leaving my home after my doctor appointment and I'm staying somewhere else right now.  I really don't feel like going into it all...but I just needed to get something out so it would stop running about my brain. I'm tired, it's really the only thing I can think of.  I tired of it all.  I want just a little peace and quiet, just a little bit of luck or karma or whatever to go my way.  I have no idea what is going to happen.  I feel like nearly 18 years of my life just went down the toilet.  I don't regret my decision, I think it was the right one to lessen the stress on all.  I'm just not sure what will happen going forward, but I am going forward.  I'm not staying stuck anymore, not staying in the same place.  I am afraid that this is going to be the most painful decision I've ever made in my life...I really am.  But most of all today, I'm just really tired.