Moving Forward

Ever lost site of how good life is? I did for a little bit, but God reminded me of all I have been given. Church yesterday was amazing and the choir sang a song about moving forward, about how you can't go back, how you won't go back to the way things were before. I am there. I will not go back to the person I was, the past is behind me and I can not dwell in it. I must look ahead and move forward in God. And only in God will I move forward.

I have been given more than I ever deserved. I have a faithful, Godly husband (whom I do not deserve, I have been a horrible person and yet he loved me anyway). I have 3 beautiful, healthy, intelligent daughters. They are wonderful, all so different and unique. I have pets in my home that are wonderful and help to complete our lives. I have friends now, real friends that I can depend on, that I can call on in times of need and doubt. My children have good friends. I have enough food to eat and a home to live in and a car to drive. I have the ability to go back to school and better myself. I have freedom, not just the freedom we enjoy as a citizen of the USA, but freedom from God to be everything I can be, to live life free without fear and doubt. I have all this and so much more and it makes me feel both very small and very tall at the same time.

In the past year, since turning my life over to God, I have gained more than you can ever know. I have freedom. I can not describe it. It is not a earthly thing, there are no words I can use to communicate the feeling of freedom I have. It is something you have to feel for yourself. A year ago, I thought I would never see the end of our suffering. Chris had no job, we had very little income, we couldn't make it. Now, Chris still has no job, we still have very little income, but now we can make it. Somehow, our bills get paid, everytime, without fail. Somehow that money is there. Even when we spend our last dime to pay the power bill, someone puts a 20 in our hand for gas to get Chris to school. He never fails. A year ago, we were selfish, focused on ourselves and how we were going to get through this. Now, even though we have nothing to give, we give everything we have freely. And that is the way it is supposed to be. What you have here on earth is fleeting and you will not take it with you...you need to share your blessings and be a blessing to others. When you recieve help and recieve a blessing, take part of it and bless another. A kind word may be all you can offer, but that word may mean so much to the person you offer it to. Don't be foolish and say I have no money, so I can't help. You don't need money to help. You need time to help, you need love to help and if you have those things, you can make a difference in the world.

I've been sitting here this morning, teary eyed over all God has done for me. Thinking of a new couple I just met, whose life is in tatters. God has placed me in their lives to give them the tools to repair their life. I am being used of God. That is such a big responsibility. God has trusted me and my husband with the care of another family. Do you realize how big that is? There are no words to describe how I hurt for them. It breaks my heart. I can not give them money and make it all better. It will take time and love and long hours. And that is what I have to give, time, love. Jesus did not come down and hand out money. He gave time and love and wisdom.

I think of the song Entertaining Angels by the Newsboys here lately. You never know who you are sitting across from, is that person an angel? Are you sharing your love with an angel of God? I think we come in contact with more angels than we know. However, this has been a long post and I must bring it to a close. But I leave you with that thought, next time you are face to face with a stanger...think to yourself...is this an angel of God? Am I entertaining angels? How would your reactions change if you knew that you were entertaining an angel and not just a person on the street???

I believe what I believe

Just sitting here listening to Third Day and Brandon Heath singing Creed. Loving it. I'm totally into this song right now. It just speaks so clearly of what I believe. It makes me totally happy. (Not to mention the fact that Mac Powell is pretty and that makes me smile as well) I'm up early again this morning and thanks to my early morning jam session, the kids are up too. Chris is still curled up in bed trying to get warm. I'm finding that now that what I believe is now more defined, that it is being challenged more. And the suprising thing is that it is other Christians that are challenging my beliefs. They want me to believe exactly what they do and if I don't I'm wrong. And it's not that I don't hold with their set of beliefs, but it's more that I don't hold with their set of standards. Make sense? I believe in the life, death, and resurection of Jesus Christ. I believe that He is God, the one and only. He is the Holy Spirit that dwells in me. One God, one way to heaven. You must believe, be baptised and filled with His spirit. However, what I do not believe. I don't believe that wearing earrings is going to affect my salvation. Or jeans, or cutting my hair, or any of that other nonsense. God to not come to earth and die to tell me that my jeans and earrings are bad. He came for a more important reason and I think these trivial things were not really of importance to Him. He was more concerned with saving those who were lost and dying than making sure they wore the right clothes. Sigh. I just wonder about things sometimes. It seems we are living among the Pharasees again...they are adding to the gospel and making it so much harder for people than it needs to be. It is so simple, believe, get baptized, recieve the Holy Spirit and stay on the path of Salvation. That's all you need to do. I want to find a church that is simple like that, not all this pomp and circumstance. I want a simple, home church where I can worship and love God and not get judged by someone. Is that too much to ask????