I have been feeling really down here lately. I just feel like the world is out to get me. Like everyone thinks I'm worthless. It seems like everywhere I turn, people seem to be pointing out my faults. It's been a rough week or so. I thought this was supposed to happen in winter? I guess that it's more proof that I am not normal.
I feel like screaming, but at the same time, I wonder if it's even worth it. What happened to the me who was confident and happy? Ugh. I should be sleeping right now...but no, I'm not. Every time I closed my eyes I hear those voices telling me how worthless I am. I kinda feel like I've hit the bottom of the barrel and it's a long way up again. And it's a really tiring journey and I'm really tired and what I really want is just to rest.
I'm in one of those places where I wonder, why? Why me? Why now? And all those other questions that go along with that train of thought. I'm beyond tired of being so worn thin. I want a break....any break. Just one thing to go right for a change. Just one. I want to know where I'm going on this journey and I want some solid ground to stand on and I want to know that it will be ok in the end. I find myself short on faith right now...I find myself short on a lot of things right now. I just want some answers. I've been walking in this fog for so long...it drains every ounce of energy I have. I want a glimpse of where I am headed.
I feel very human right now. Very alone. I know it won't last forever, but it does seem that way right now.
Here is a song I often listen to in times like these...It helps me move on again...