Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Therapy Session 1

So, I mentioned last time that I had changed.  That is very true.  In the time I've spent away from my blog, I've almost become a different person in more than one aspect.  I've learned a few new things, had somethings reinforced and changed my views on quite a lot.  There is nothing like working for a "mission" to give you a good cold dose of reality.  I have come to the conclusion that the modern day church is nothing more than a false prophet.  A pit of vipers if you will.  Now, this certainly does not go for every single church out there...that would be silly.  No, I mean as a collective the church of today is not concerned with helping people so much as building large buildings, holding fancy ceremonies, and making sure they look really good to actually help anyone.  In the past 4 years it has been my unfortunate experience that the church really like my talents and my willingness to help others...and those churches have exploited it, in one case coming close to actually killing me.  (No, that is not an exaggeration...medically I was in quite a pickle...it was not good.)
These "organizations" loved that I had a big heart, I could sing, I was good with kids, I could do photography and such.  They loved it so much they constantly asked me to do all sorts of things, far more than should have been asked.  And, in one case, while they were busy taking from me...they actually wanted me to pay them money...even though other volunteers were given discounts and such for their work...I was not.  Yeah.  Go figure.
You see....somewhere a few thousand years ago this guy went around and he tried to get people to be nice to each other and help each other.  That was what I wanted to do...help, because in my own life I had felt helpless.  I was a sucker.  And I'm sure you can see I am still not happy about it...but this is what the blog is for.  It's here for me to work through this and find my way back to me.  The me I want to be.
I've seen that "churches" will use the threat of hell over and over again...fear mongering.  At this point in my life I have no fear of hell.  There was a time when I did, but after living through what I have, hell is here on earth.  I don't fear anything that might happen after I'm dead.  It the things that can happen while I'm alive that bother me.  However, it is very easy to keep your sheep in place if you constantly remind them that they will be damned for doing bad things...things that you say are bad.  Because, folks, if you didn't know...those people lie.  Don't believe me...READ IT FOR YOURSELF.  Seriously, get the big book of everything and read it.  If it is not mentioned over and over and on a consistent basis...yeah...that's not  damnable offense.  You see the book also has this dude's words in red...so it is really easy to see what he said.  Most of the crap that people say he said was important...yeah...he didn't say it.  In fact, those people don't know that because they didn't read it either, they relied on what someone else told them.  Yeah...no.  If you want to work out what you believe...don't listen to anything a human tells you...including me...go and research and find it out for yourself.

Ok...I'm a little worn after this first one...so I'm gonna go now.  I've gotten this poison out of my system and now I need to take time to step back and evaluate.  I'm sure there will be more to come.
Ta for now...

Friday, March 10, 2017

Another Long Absence and Interesting News

Hello all, a lot has happened since I last posted, but it's time for an update.  As you know, or maybe not if you are visiting this blog for the first time, this is where I started sharing my journey through life so many years ago.  At times I have posted quite often and at times posts have been few and far in between.  It's just how life goes.  After so long, I feel the need to use this tool to help me through some things again, and maybe it might help others who are also out in the world.

I won't lie, sometimes things on this blog get rough and real.  I may cuss, I may say things you don't like or believe, that's why there is a warning before you read the blog.  This is my personal journey, my personal feelings.  This is a place where I can let it out, say what I want and such.  It's a good therapy tool to help me clear my head and make sense of things when I can't see them clearly at all.  It's all that and nothing more.  I share this simply because I've lived this life and know that others may find a sense of not being alone by reading it, as I have often found when I read things from others.  It's nice to know that you are not the only one in life who feels a given way or that sometimes other people have situations like the one you may find yourself in.

Since I am bringing it back, I will (of course) be doing a bit of housekeeping and redesigning, if you've read before you will not be surprised...I like pretty things.  And also glitter.

Just to get the bare bones out of the way:

I no longer live in Kentucky.  I am now back home in Alabama and that journey is still very painful for me.  I have a lot of lingering issues over it and I'm sure I'll address it in due time.  I have recently found out that my diagnosis of several mental illnesses was likely wrong and it is highly possible that for my entire life I have had a seizure disorder, again, I will address this in coming posts.  I have also learned some painful lessons that you will see reflected here on the "religious" aspect of life.  More on that later too.

So, to recap, I've moved, my entire life has been turned upside down and nothing is in any way remotely the same as it was before.  I hope that anyone reading this blog will find that they are not alone and that hope can be found in the funniest places, but it may be dark for a while...for as I've said...things have been bad.  TTFN and I'll see you later.