Monday, August 31, 2009

I'm still waiting on a call from the doctor about therapy. I got word that I would have to do group therapy since they can't find a therapist that my insurance approves of. I guess I will have to call them myself and get things started if it's ever going to amount to anything. I need to be back in therapy because the doctor thinks my anxiety will be best handled in therapy. I'm just looking forward to not being the only crazy person in the room for a change.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday and discussed my mood swings and anxiety. She increased my dose of antidepressant and said it would also help with the anxiety. I'm ready to be out of this funk. My mood is either depressed or angry. I want to be happy again...I'm tired of being tired. I sick of being sick. I guess you could say I'm sick and tired. hehe I know I'm getting better, it just doesn't seem fast enough. I want to be better now. But they told me depression takes the longest to recover from, the meds take months and months to work. I'm ready to have some energy back and to feel like my old self again. I guess I'll just have to settle for day by day and know that I am getting better, no matter how slow it is...

Monday, August 17, 2009

For reasons unknown I have been unable to sleep well here lately. I have been having the weirdest dreams and just not resting at all. I go see the doctor Wednesday, so we'll see what she has to say about it. I really don't want anymore medication, so I'm hoping we can steer clear of that. I have been a little down here lately, so I'm wondering if I need to increase my antidepressant again. I am horribly afraid of dropping back down into the depression that I suffered earlier this year, I never want to do that again. That was the lowest I have ever been and it was not fun at all. I'm still not completely better, but I am getting better. A little more each day.

Friday, August 14, 2009

*Sigh* It's been a rough week, mentally. I've just been snappy and grouchy and generally unpleasant. I have not felt very well all week to tell the truth. The kids have had a good first week at school. But I have been in a funk. I can't settle on any one thing and my mind is racing. I have not slept well at all, I can't quiet my mind at night. I can't really even find the words I want to put down I guess this will be a short post.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I just finished reading Impulse by Ellen Hopkins. It's a good book about suicide. If you ever really want to know what it's like to try and fail and then come back from it you should read it. You really get an understanding of the thought process. However, it is not a book I should have read. I'm still recovering from my own suicidal ideas and it was a bit too real for me. It was a good book, but not one I should have read. I feel horribly uncomfortable having read it, I can't explain it. It feels kind of like, I don't know. Like I read something adulterous almost. The book left me feeling breathless at the way it disturbed me somewhat, I guess you could say. Either way...good book.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I'm having issues today. Panic attacks and I'm very stressed out. I always get a little panicked when Chris is at work, but I can normally PSP my way through it. Today I'm having no luck. The kids are really not helping either...all they can do today is fight with each other. I think I'm gonna have to speak to my doctor about something for this anxiety, I don't want any new drugs, but being like this is not healthy either. I know my blood pressure is sky high right now and all I want to do is cry. I can't lay down and sleep it off because I need to watch the kids. I have been playing on the computer most of the day. Trying to keep my mind off of it, but my chest won't stop hurting and I've had to hide from the girls a couple of times when I felt like I couldn't keep from crying. I don't want to upset them. Chris doesn't get off work until 5 and then he has an hours drive home, so it will be 6 at the earliest before he's home and something always happens to make him late. I guess I will just have to deal with it till he gets matter how hard that is to do.

Friday, August 7, 2009

I had one of those looks into the mind of normal people today that makes me hate them. This girl was bitching about this girl with mental illness neglecting her cats and so she turned her in to animal control. She thought more of the cats than the human that needed help. Everyone is so quick to save the cats, the dogs, the whatever....but to step in and help a human is out of bounds. That is wrong. The human can be left in hell to die, but save the damn cat. I love my cats, but not one of them is worth a human life. All I could think of is this poor girl is out there alone, trying to make it in a normal persons world and this other girl only cares about what happens to her cats. Where have our priorities gone when the animals are more important than the people? This is one of those things that makes my blood boil...the girl has a mental she's a bad person. No, that's not what it is...mental illness does not make her a bad person, it makes her a sick person who needs medical help. But normal people don't see it like that, they associate mental illness with bad behavior and bad people and think that it's their fault. It's not. Mental illness is not a choice, no more than any other disease. Mental illness does not make you a bad person! I'm not a bad person, I'm just like you only I am sick. I get up in the morning, I take care of my kids, I grocery shop, I drive my child to karate, I do all of the things normal people do. When I was at my sickest, I couldn't take care of my kids....but that didn't make me a bad person....all it made me was sick. Oh, it just pisses me off to no end...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

It's almost time for school to start back...less than a week for us. I'm looking forward to it, more of a routine for me. The kids are ready as well, they get bored over the summer. The in laws have been and gone and what a time that was! We'll just say that it was not all we hoped for and hope for a better time next go round. Chris's vacation is over as well and I think I've done pretty well for his first day back. I think I only called him once. He was off today and has to go in again tomorrow and then off it's kinda easing back into the routine. We did some school shopping today, got backpacks. That's the only thing we have to buy, the teacher's buy everything else and we pay fees to the school. I wish they would just let us buy our's cheaper that way. Attie is playing with some dirt and rocks on the porch just now...she's gonna need to be hosed off before we go in! She loves dirt for some reason. Well that's all this go round...things here have been pretty slow!

Thursday, July 16, 2009


I've been fighting the feeling that I want to go back into the hospital. I've been feeling more and more pressure to just escape. I'm not dealing with the real world very well right now. Not having a therapist is making it much harder to deal than I ever thought it would. But that pissy 30 minutes a month was something that really helped. Every day it is getting harder and harder. It's like wading through water that keeps getting deeper and deeper. At first it's easy to walk through it, but as it gets higher it gets harder and you get slower. It just seems like I'm alone in all this. One broken mind among all these normal minds. If you look at the numbers, I know there are more like me out there....hiding it seems. I want to be with people like me, people who understand and who can talk and laugh about it and who don't get all nervous around you. I'm tired of being surrounded by people who don't understand what's in my head. Which leads me back to the hospital thing...people in there understand. People in there know what it's like, they know how it feels, they understand. I need to be understood. I need to be around people like me. So, that brings me to what's bugging me...trying to stay out of the hospital and get on with life in the normal world. I'm tired, I need a break. I need a few days where I can just take my brain off the hook and let it rest. It's hard work being among normal people. I have to concentrate on just being normal, appearing normal. Everything that comes out of my mouth I have to think about twice. Everything I see I have to think about 5 times just to make sure it's real. All this takes energy. Energy that I am running out of right now. Even sitting here typing this I have to think and think about what I want to say. What I want to type, I have to filter it. I have to filter everything. And things that normally get filtered in a normal mind, don't get filtered in my mind...It takes an actual thought. I created this blog to show people what it's like to be in a fractured mind....well this is part of it. Exhaustion is part of it...I have to hide what's wrong with me. I have to smile and do what is expected of me and it gets tiring. Well, I think that's all I have energy for right now. I know I've repeated myself at some point in this rambling...but I'll just have to live with that.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


Well, Kae had a complete melt down in karate yesterday. I ended up having to drag her, kicking and screaming, out the door and pick her up and force her into the van. I was afraid the police were going to show up and arrest me. She is in so much trouble. She's grounded until school starts. And still not sure what her karate teacher is going to do, I just hope she doesn't get kicked out. Well, anyways, after all that drama I get home and there is a baby robin that the puppies are trying to paw to death. So, I pick it up and bring it in and we are taking care of it. So, now it looks like I will have a robin cause we are not sure if we can release it and it live. And if I'm going to all of this trouble I want the thing to live. That is where things stand here...all drama and such.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Life is sucking right now

People are walking through my kitchen. People who are not really there. It's been a few days now that this has been happening and it's getting on my nerves. I can't see the doctor until the 7th and heaven knows when I'll be seeing a therapist as they have not hired a new one yet. If you ever thought you could get quality mental health can't. Mental health is so over looked and underfunded that I'm lucky I even have a center within driving distance. And still it sucks, I've had 3 therapists since I started there 7 months ago and now I'm without a therapist cause the last one quit. I've got imaginary people walking through my kitchen, my house is a hell hole because I'm burying myself in my computer to avoid the hallucinations. I can't keep up. This is the point where my mind becomes different from other people's minds. This is how it differs and it's a biggie. I still go on and do what I can. I can tell the difference in my house as to what is real and what is not...that's easy. It's out in the real world that I have trouble. I don't know if the person that walks up to me in WalMart is real or imaginary. So I go around with a scowl on my face because I'm thinking so hard trying to figure it out and people stare at me wondering why I'm so pissed off. In reality, I'm not pissed off....I'm just trying to get through without talking to someone who's not there and thereby causing people to stare at me even more. And you thought you hated WalMart. I have to resolve to do better, tho. I have to come out of the computer a little more each day and make myself face what is happening. Chris got so pissed at me tonight when I finally told him what's going on because I had not told him before. This is the point where I begin to feel alone. I feel cut off from the real world and it's a dangerous time. It's this time that I am most in danger of being put back in a I clam up and don't say anything. Which ends up getting me in bigger trouble. Vicious cycle. Well, that's what's on my mind and what I'm doing now. Fun, eh?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Summer is here

Well, I'm back after another long absence. I've been here, the kids have been keeping me busy. I've not felt very well. I'm waiting on my new meds to get here, the doc upped my dosage and for some reason my new meds have not arrived yet. I'm still making do on the old dosage. The kids are bored most of the time...they are having to stay inside until late afternoon because the heat index is so high. Which means no trips anywhere during the day as the car a/c is messed up and my van is in the transmission shop again. That's about all that's been going on in my oh so exciting life right

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Been a bit

Well, things here have been crazy. Summer is here and the kids are out of school. I spend all day listening to them fight with each other most of the time. Then the rest of the time is telling them to get down, stop running, stop tickling and a host of other things that make my floor shake. Kaelyn got her yellow belt in karate this past week. We are proud of her. Emma lost 2 teeth this week, her very front she can't talk right now! Chris broke one of the chickens legs this morning by accident, so he and Emma are taking it to the vet. I can't believe we're taking a chicken to the vet, but hey...the things you do for your kids. Apparently chickens can lead happy lives with only one leg...I guess we will see. Other than the craziness that is summer time things have been normal. Well, I'm off to do some more stuff and all...

Monday, April 20, 2009

Still feeling blue

I'm still feeling down. I've put in 2 calls to the doctor and am waiting to hear back. I really hate feeling like this and knowing that nothing I do with change it. I've been way uncreative here lately so I sat down at the computer and made myself do some things. I was fairly please with how they came out, these are the first sigs I've made from scratch in a very long time. I've been using templates and tuts mainly. But I think these came out ok...Photobucket Photobucket

Monday, April 13, 2009

A Sinking feeling

I went to the therapist today. She's concerned because my meds are not really working to help me out of this slump. I still don't see the doctor until the end of May and there are no earlier appointments. I've shut down all my threads and things because I just don't feel creative. I sit and look at the computer, but have no ideas on anything to make. I hate feeling this way. I've only been on my new dosage for just a little while, so maybe it just has not had time to work yet and it will get better. I hope so. My therapist is concerned that I'm not taking my meds like I should. I have problems with that in the past, but I told her Chris is watching me take them and she could call him and talk to him anytime she needed to. I have been taking them, they are just not helping. So I'm just kind of stuck here, feeling cruddy until they do kick in and work. I really don't like feeling like this. I'm supposed to go to a NAMI meeting tomorrow night, but we'll have to see if I have a way to get there...this week is gonna be tight because Chris bought all the wood and things to do the chicken runs. Well, I've babbled enough for now. Ta

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Catching up

When I started this blog I wanted it to be so that everyone could see that having a Mental Illness doesn't make you strange or a leper or anything. But I have not been truthful with my posting because I've been afraid of how people will see me, yeah, I know....makes zero sense. That was the point of the blog. Well, I'd better do some catching up. I've been going through a low point and had to have my antidepressant adjusted. In fact, it got doubled and it will probably still be several more weeks before I get any real benefit from that. Right now, I'm caught in the middle and trying to make it the best way I can. So, what does it feel like to be depressed? Tired, angry, ill, grumpy and out of sorts. I get tired easily and sleep more. I take naps during the day when I can. I get angry quicker and snap at people more often, so I try to keep my mouth shut more. I don't have any real want to. I don't want to do anything, it's like being in limbo. I'm just waiting to feel better. Everyone tells me I've made huge strides in a very short time. I went back on medication in December, this is the longest time I have ever been on medication. They tell me not to be impatient and not to think things will just be ok all of the sudden. But that's what I want. Before I was medicated, I didn't think I had a problem, I was fine. Now that I'm on the medication I can see how very close I came to dying and how big of a problem I did have. But I want it to be poof and I'm better. And that is not happening, I'm having to wait for the medicine to kick in and give me the energy that I need to do the things I want to do. I get frustrated when I can do one load of laundry and be really tired. Or when I know I need to do the laundry and something in my mind has me set against it. I get really frustrated when I can't talk. I get stuck in the middle of a sentence and can't go any farther. They tell me this is called "thought blocking" and it may or may not get better. What it is is a sign that I've let to long go without medication and my brain is damaged. All that time I could have been on meds and my brain could have been more whole than it is now. I think of that and think I was a fool for a very long time. I like being online, because I can talk online. No one notices the gaps when you are typing. No matter how long it took you to type that sentence. All in all, I know I have come a long way from where I was, but now I feel kind of stuck and waiting for the next thing. And I'm just hoping that the next thing is feeling better about everything.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Hello all

I've been kinda out of it for a bit. The doctor doubled my antidepressant, so that's got me a little groggy. The weather here has been everything from sunny and warm to snow in the past 2 weeks, so that has not helped either. I'm still around, just not as active for now....kinda just laying low.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Take the quiz...

I found a neat quiz on schizophrenia, take it and see if you are up to date on the current facts. You can find it here.

Monday, March 23, 2009

A long road ahead

I have been talking with Chris about having another baby. He's not to keen on the idea of me going through another pregnancy. He did say we could talk about it and see what our options are. And of course I have to have my psych workers sign off on it and make sure I have safe meds to take while I'm pregnant. Which is a big deal. I looked up the medication I am on and it has caused heart and kidney defects. But there's no big hurry, the earliest we have said we'd start trying is in December of 2010. Attie will be in preschool then and it would put my due date the next fall when she would be in kindergarten. We also have to weigh the fact that I will have to have in vitro, which Chris is not happy about either. So I've got tons of insurance stuff to check on as well. All in all it's a tall order and there are tons of things I have to get in line for it to happen, but I think it will be worth it the long run. lol

Thursday, March 19, 2009

A Few Pretties

I played around with some tutorials at Divine Intentionz today and really liked what I came up with, so I thought I would share. Photobucket Photobucket

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Visiting the Past

When I was little, I always helped my dad work on his truck. When I say helped, I carried around a broomstick and played while he worked. lol Well, for the past 2 days I have got to relive my past a bit. The rack and pinion went out in my van and after waiting 3 weeks for the person who was supposed to fix it to show up, me, my dad and my brother did it. It took us 2 nights, but we got it done. And I have to say I enjoyed it. It was hard work and I got greasy, but I got to spend time with my dad and my brother in a way I don't normally get to spend time with them. We laughed and griped and got the work done. I got to fix a car with my daddy and I think it is a memory I will keep for a long time. I feel really lucky to have been able to spend that time with him. I look around and so many people don't have family that they can do that with. It's not an option, so to get to do it was an honor for me. A messy, greasy honor. I guess, too, that it made me feel younger. I've been feeling older here lately. 32 is not really old, but I've noticed that I'm the one griping about the teenagers driving and having loud music and it's kinda got to me. I can still laugh and have a good time, but my good time doesn't revolve around beer and loud music. I guess growing up happens more than once in our lives.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Another Good Article

Well, today started off badly. I won't go into it, I'll just say I spent the morning crying. Some days are like that, you spend all day wondering what you did wrong and yet knowing all the while you did nothing wrong. It's messed up. I got my medicine yesterday and got a quote for it also, a month's supply is $996. Yeah, I have applied to the company who makes the drug for assistance in getting it. And that large price tag is for 60 pills. I can't wait till it goes generic, then things will be much easier. Antipsychotic drugs are some of the most expensive out there, but they work. I found another good article on understanding Schizophrenia and thought I'd pass the link on. You can find the article HERE.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Challenging Day

Today was really challenging for me. I kept my head in the computer most of the day making siggy's to take the edge off. I've been having some rough days for a little under a week, I've been having more hallucinations and more memory loss. It has been grinding on me a good bit. I can't even remember the end of sentences I start saying, I just stop mid sentence and I can't go any farther with it. I go tomorrow to my monthly therapist's appointment, so I'm going to talk with her about all this and see if I can get some more meds as I am almost out. I really will be in trouble if I run out of meds. We got a big blow to our plans for this week today. Chris's vacation was canceled, he will be working 4 am shifts this week. Which sucks. A coworker had a death in the family and Chris has to cover his shifts, I know it's a good thing for him to do and I don't fault him for it. But it really messed up our week with the kids. He's going to see if he can take next week off and he will get a 3 day weekend this weekend, so we're gonna do as much as we can this weekend. I know we will be going to the zoo Saturday and maybe someplace on Friday. Another sour note, my van is still not fixed. We waited all day for Chris's brother to come and do the work and he did not show again. This is the second time he's not shown up and I can't drive my van and it has to be fixed by this weekend or our travel plans are over and the kids AEA week is just them sitting at home without anything special. I'm crossing my fingers that he gets his butt up here and does the work this week. Well, that's all for now. I've vented and I feel better for it. Lots of things are out of my control and that is making me feel very....unanchored. I feel like things are swirling all around me and I can't catch them, which no doubt accounts for my grouchiness. Well, maybe things will get better tomorrow.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

A good article on Schizophrenia

This was taken from NAMI's website. You can see the original HERE.


What is schizophrenia?

Schizophrenia is a serious and challenging medical illness, an illness that affects well over 2 million American adults, which is about 1 percent of the population age 18 and older. Although it is often feared and misunderstood, schizophrenia is a treatable medical condition.

Schizophrenia often interferes with a person's ability to think clearly, to distinguish reality from fantasy, to manage emotions, make decisions, and relate to others. The first signs of schizophrenia typically emerge in the teenage years or early twenties, often later for females. Most people with schizophrenia contend with the illness chronically or episodically throughout their lives, and are often stigmatized by lack of public understanding about the disease. Schizophrenia is not caused by bad parenting or personal weakness. A person with schizophrenia does not have a "split personality," and almost all people with schizophrenia are not dangerous or violent towards others while they are receiving treatment. The World Health Organization has identified schizophrenia as one of the ten most debilitating diseases affecting human beings.

What are the symptoms of schizophrenia?

No one symptom positively identifies schizophrenia. All of the symptoms of this illness can also be found in other mental illnesses. For example, psychotic symptoms may be caused by the use of illicit drugs, may be present in individuals with Alzheimer’s disease, or may be characteristics of a manic episode in bipolar disorder. However, when a doctor observes the symptoms of schizophrenia and carefully assesses the history and the course of the illness over six months, he or she can almost always make a correct diagnosis.

As with any other psychiatric diagnosis, it is important to have a good medical work-up to be sure the diagnosis is correct. Drug use can mimic the symptoms of schizophrenia and may also trigger vulnerability in individuals at risk. Other medical concerns also need to be ruled out before a correct diagnosis can be made.

The symptoms of schizophrenia are generally divided into three categories -- Positive, Negative, and Cognitive:

  • Positive Symptoms, or "psychotic" symptoms, include delusions and hallucinations because the patient has lost touch with reality in certain important ways. "Positive" refers to having overt symptoms that should not be there. Delusions cause individuals to believe that people are reading their thoughts or plotting against them, that others are secretly monitoring and threatening them, or that they can control other people's minds. Hallucinations cause people to hear or see things that are not present.
  • Negative Symptomsinclude emotional flatness or lack of expression, an inability to start and follow through with activities, speech that is brief and devoid of content, and a lack of pleasure or interest in life. "Negative" does not refer to a person's attitude but to a lack of certain characteristics that should be there.
  • Cognitive Symptoms pertain to thinking processes. For example, people may have difficulty with prioritizing tasks, certain kinds of memory functions, and organizing their thoughts. A common problem associated with schizophrenia is the lack of insight into the condition itself. This is not a willful denial but rather a part of the mental illness itself. Such a lack of understanding, of course, poses many challenges for loved ones seeking better care for the person with schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia also affects mood. While many individuals affected with schizophrenia become depressed, some also have apparent mood swings and even bipolar-like states. When mood instability is a major feature of the illness, it is called schizoaffective disorder, meaning that elements of schizophrenia and mood disorders are prominently displayed by the same individual. It is not clear whether schizoaffective disorder is a distinct condition or simply a subtype of schizophrenia.

What are the causes of schizophrenia?

Scientists still do not know the specific causes of schizophrenia, but research has shown that the brains of people with schizophrenia are different from the brains of people without the illness. Like many other medical illnesses such as cancer or diabetes, schizophrenia seems to be caused by a combination of problems including genetic vulnerability and environmental factors that occur during a person's development. Recent research has identified certain genes that appear to increase risk for schizophrenia. Like cancer and diabetes, the genes only increase the chances of becoming ill; they alone do not cause the illness.

How is schizophrenia treated?

While there is no cure for schizophrenia, it is a treatable and manageable illness. However, people sometimes stop treatment because of medication side effects, the lack of insight noted above, disorganized thinking, or because they feel the medication is no longer working. People with schizophrenia who stop taking prescribed medication are at risk of relapse into an acute psychotic episode. It’s important to realize that the needs of the person with schizophrenia may change over time. Here are a few examples of supports and interventions:

  • Recovery Supports/Relapse Prevention: There is increasing recognition of the benefits of learning from "someone who has been there." NAMI’s Peer to Peer program is designed to help individuals with mental illness learn from those who have become skilled at managing their illness. Peer support groups are also recognized as invaluable as individuals living with mental illness report better recovery outcomes as the shared experience is recognized as extremely beneficial. NAMI C.A.R.E. support groups are available in many communities and are expanding to better meet this need.
  • Family Support: Caregivers benefit greatly from NAMI’s Family-to-Family education program, taught by family members who have the knowledge and the skills needed to cope effectively with a loved one with a mental disorder. This program is available in all 50 states through many NAMI affiliates, and is offered in multiple languages in many communities.
  • Hospitalization: Individuals who experience acute symptoms of schizophrenia may require intensive treatment, including hospitalization. Hospitalization is necessary to treat severe delusions or hallucinations, serious suicidal thoughts, an inability to care for oneself, or severe problems with drugs or alcohol. Hospitalization may be essential to protect people from hurting themselves or others.
  • Medication: The primary medications for schizophrenia are called antipsychotics. Antipsychotics help relieve the positive symptoms of schizophrenia by helping to correct an imbalance in the chemicals that enable brain cells to communicate with each other. As with drug treatments for other physical illnesses, many patients with severe mental illnesses may need to try several different antipsychotic medications before they find the one, or the combination of medications, that works best for them.
    • Conventional Antipsychotics were introduced in the 1950s and all had similar ability to relieve the positive symptoms of schizophrenia. However, most of these older "conventional" antipsychotics differed in the side effects they produced. These conventional antipsychotics include chlorpromazine (Thorazine), fluphenazine (Prolixin), haloperidol (Haldol), thiothixene (Navane), trifluoperazine (Stelazine), perphenazine (Trilafon), and thioridazine (Mellaril). Some of the risks that may be incurred from taking these medicines include dry mouth, blurred vision, drowsiness, constipation, and movement disorders such as stiffness, a sense of restless motion, and tardive dyskinesia.
    • "Atypical" Antipsychotics were introduced in the 1990s. When compared to the older "conventional" antipsychotics, these medications appear to be equally effective for helping reduce the positive symptoms such as hallucinations and delusions, but may be better than the older medications at relieving the negative symptoms of the illness, e.g., withdrawal, thinking problems, and lack of energy. The atypical antipsychotics include risperidone (Risperdal), clozapine (Clozaril), olanzapine (Zyprexa), quetiapine (Seroquel), and ziprasidone (Geodon).Clozapine (Clozaril) is an atypical antipsychotic medicine with special benefits and risks that are too numerous to cover in this brief fact sheet.All these antipsychotics have serious side effects such as weight gain and the risk of diabetes, but they all do not carry the same relative risk for these conditions.

All medications have side effects. Different medications produce different side effects, and people differ in the amount and severity of side effects they experience. Side effects can often be treated by changing the dose of the medication, switching to a different medication, or treating the side effect directly with an additional medication. NAMI’s fact sheets on medications, developed by independent pharmacists, are a starting point to understand the risks and benefits of any individual medication. Individuals thinking of starting or changing their medication should always gather good information, consider the risks and benefits, consult with their doctor and loved ones and work together to develop the most safe and effective treatment plan possible.

  • Psychosocial Rehabilitation: Research shows that people with schizophrenia who attend structured psychosocial rehabilitation programs and continue with their medical treatment manage their illness best. One example of an effective psychosocial approach for the most severely ill, or those with both mental illness and substance abuse, is the Program for Assertive Community Treatment (PACT), an intensive team effort in local communities to help people stay out of the hospital and live independently. Available 24-hours a day, seven-days a week, PACT professionals meet their clients where they live, providing at-home support at whatever level is needed.Professionals work with clients to address problems effectively, to make sure medications are being properly taken, and to meet the routine daily challenges of life, such as grocery shopping and managing money.
  • Substance use counseling, housing, work and educational skill development are among other supports frequently required to maximize a person’s prospects for a higher functional level. Additional information on these topics is available at

Individuals with schizophrenia face enormous challenges, including society’s stigmatization of people living with schizophrenia, and the discrimination that results from these prejudices. Consider getting involved in NAMI, The National Alliance on Mental Illness, in order to contribute to and benefit from NAMI’s core activities that support the NAMI mission: support, advocacy, education and improved research for this important and challenging condition.

Reviewed by Ken Duckworth, M.D., February 2007

A little therapy

As I said, you going to get to see inside my world. Which can be really boring at times. I use a form of self medication along with the real medications I take, it's called Paint Shop Pro. I love making sig tags, backgrounds and comments for people and me, of course! It calms me down and let's me vent some of the side effects of my medicine, such as the need to do something. Here are a few things I have created in the past few days. Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket

Friday, March 13, 2009


Hey and welcome to Insanity's View. I hope to use this blog as a way to show people what Mental Illness is really about and how we are really just like everyone else. Mental Illness is not necessarily caused by drug abuse or physical abuse, even though those things can contribute in some cases. Mental Illness is an organic disease of the brain. It affects the way the brain functions and the way the brain receives information. In my case, schizophrenia, it causes my brain to think that there are things or voices in the room that are not there. I have both auditory and visual hallucinations and severe mood swings. I take medications everyday to combat these things and now am doing very well. It wasn't always like this, however, and I will use this blog to show my progress and introduce you to the real world of Mental Illness, not the movie version. Along the way I hope to throw out some links to sites and foundations that can help those with Mental Illness and also some fun things that I do as my hobby. Yes, crazy people have hobbies too!