Monday, March 19, 2012
I just have to share what a wonderful weekend I had. I went to the Ladies Conference down in Montgomery with the ladies from New Life. We had such a blessed weekend and I really got blessed. I also received freedom from all the doubt that has been plaguing my mind. My mind is my weakest point and I was just constantly under attack with doubt and fear, but after Friday night that was all shattered!!! I feel like I have more confidence now and a better understanding of how the devil attacks me through my mind and I have picked up some new ways to shut him down and get rid of all the negativity. It' s just so freeing!!! Ok...I'm gonna give you a run down of what happened, because I feel I am supposed to share what happened to me. We got down there Friday morning and went straight in to the first service and I just couldn't get into it...I was just kinda numb. I thought maybe it was the trip down. We got out of service, grabbed some lunch and did a little shopping and went to the hotel to get ready for evening service. We got there that evening and found a place on the side of the stage where we could sit in the front row. I was sitting on the last chair of the front row. I listened to the message and sat there and I heard it, I remember it, but I wasn't all there. Then it was alter call and the Spirit was really moving, but I could not move. I couldn't get up out of my seat, it was like fear and doubt were ropes holding me there and I was watching everyone and all that was in my mind was negativity. "Look at these people, look what they are doing, they are crazy, this is a cult, this is bad, you don't need to be around this, this is wrong, what they are doing it wrong," all that and more over and over again in my mind and I still could not stand up. I don't remember how I came to be standing at last, but I remember Sister Dillon coming off the stage to pray with someone that was close to me and then she came to me, and took my hands and she started to pray with me and she looked my right in the eyes and said, "He's lying to you, everything he's telling you is a lie. He's a liar and he can't take this from you" And she said many more words as she prayed with me, but those are the words I remember loud and clear. And it was just like glass shattering, all that doubt and fear just broke into millions of little pieces and went scattering about. It was almost as if I could see it shattering. And I felt so happy, I began praying with her and finally speaking in tongues and crying. It was just the greatest thing in the world to have all that fear, all that doubt broken away from me. I don't think I quit crying until we started home! So that is what happened to me this weekend. Oh, there's more...don't doubt that..it was a wonderful weekend and Sunday was just as great. Kaelyn got the Holy Ghost and Attie got saved and both Emma and Attie got baptized and Greg and Kelly came for a visit and we had an amazing prayer service. I feel like I got to live on the mountain top for the weekend, to see that there really is hope. Chris and I have been so stressed and so down, even though we are happy in Jesus, the stress is still real and there is more stress ahead for us, but it was so nice to have this weekend on top of the world. To have that reminder that good things are coming, all we have to do is follow and obey...
Monday, March 5, 2012
Well, it's no secret that Chris and I have been under lots of stress. And I've been handling it pretty well up until about a month ago. Then 2 weeks ago, I started crashing. Panic attacks everyday, migraines, anxiety through the roof...all of it. I got to see the doctor today and we have tweeked my meds. I've seriously upped my pill count, but tonight I feel slightly calmer. I don't have a huge headache tonight...so I will declare victory for a small step forward. We've left my Geodon alone, left the Buspar alone as well, upped my Celexa and added Inderal. I've gone from taking 3 pills a night to taking 12 spaced out through out the day. That will be hard for me to get used to, I'm not used to needing meds during daylight hours. I'm hoping that a side effect of the Inderal will be lowered blood pressure, cause mine's been a little high lately. I did get the troublesome tooth out Friday, so that is also a good thing. I'm still a little sore from the numbing injections...but hey, over all, not so bad. I've been sleeping a little more during the day as well since then, not sure why...maybe just all of this combined and I need the extra couple hours of sleep. So, that's the news from this front...here's hoping that calmer days are in my future!!!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
It's been an eventful day...so might as well blog about it. Kaelyn was out sick today...but she started feeling better about mid morning...so we headed out to Huntsville to run a few errands. We had some chinese and went shopping for nail polish. While we were at Walmart I found a new red betta that I liked...so I got him...his pick is on FB if you wanna check him out. I plan to breed this summer, I've got a black crowntail and a crimson fantail. I just need to find some really pretty females and I'll be ready to go. Well, we did our running and went back home...Kaelyn helped dad out for a bit while I visited with mom, Lynn and Hudson. I tell you he is getting too cute, or I should say handsome. We're so used to having girls it's gonna take a while to adjust our talk!! The kids got in from school and put in some serious outside play since the day was so nice. All was well and right with the world. Well, Chris heads out to church before dinner to get somethings done at the church and I was finishing up the cooking, taking the chicken out of the oven when Attie walks in the kitchen. She takes a look at the chicken and says: "Did that chicken come from a live chicken?" I laughed and said yes. She immediately decided she didn't want chicken...she thought that was gross. Then Kaelyn informed her that all chicken was once alive and she really got disgusted. I'm not sure the kid will ever eat chicken again. It was hilarious. So Attie chooses to just have mac n cheese for dinner. Right now the kids are watching some Phineas and Ferb and taking turns playing on the Ipad. It's quiet in here...which is unusual. I'm sure there will be some disturbance of the peace shortly. But that was my day...it was one of the more interesting ones...just a peek into everyday life at the Vaughn house!!