Friday, June 29, 2012

Salad Cream

I just had a dream that was a 15 on the weirdness scale. It was so random, that I have actually gotten out of bed to blog about it at 2 in the morning. And the reason it was so odd....was the use of the words "Salad Cream". How often in your life (unless you are British) do you have a dream where the words salad cream are used? Here's the dream as I remember amazed people, be ver amazed. I was at the old Union Grove Church as a youth and we were practicing for a play about the crucifiction of Jesus Christ. For some strange reason I was under a twin bunk bed in the room...don't ask, I can't explain it. However, apparently I was very ill. So at some point during the beating of Christ, I decide to crawl out from under the bed and head for the door. Now the dream morphs into the actual play going on and as I am crawling toward the door, I hear the line that I am supposed to respond to in the play...which is: "Something, something and get the salad cream". The words salad cream were delivered in none other than Kryten's voice from Red Dwarf. You can not make this stuff up. So I make it outside and now I am actually on my feet, limping towards my car. My old burgundy car that I owned circa 1999. This actually makes a little sense, because I would have had this car as a member of the youth group...just not at that church. Well, I get in the car and peel out towards home, buckling my seatbelt as I drive. And in this dream, I suddenly notice that it is very dark. Like, so dark I can't really see even with headlights. This apparently does not bother me, though I do remember feeling alarmed in my brain at the density of the darkness. And apparently now my car had super handling, because now in order to turn all I have to do is think about it. So, I'm in the car, it's dark and I'm speeding down the road to home. My parents home. I am aware that I need to change lanes in order to turn, but I can't because there are cars there, so I'm looking at them and make eye contact with the black girl driving her Tron like car next to me. So somehow I get over and turn and now suddenly I'm on a bicycle going down Irby Circle...though in my dream it looked more like the road into Sleepy Hollow. And the girl from the car and another girl are tagging along behind me on foot. I seemed to be pleased with this development. Well, I get home and for some reason my house is laid out like the church. I get to what would have been the door at the top of the stairway at the church and open it, only to find my mother standing there informing me that the youth director called about me leaving in the middle of a play. I respond with a smart remark about the youth director worrying too much, we laugh, I head to what is my room. Which is actually some kind of apartment that is laid out like a bad sitcom. Where the other 2 girls have gone I have no idea. I am speaking to my mother as I walk and I am taking off a jacket. Might I mention that in this dream I am very thin and hollywood teenager looking. (there's some inner oddness for you to wrap your head around) I am in my little apartment room and I am getting a drink from the fridge when out from my kitchen walks a black guy named Tony. Who apparently was the black girl mentioned before and only now is a black guy named Tony. Who had apparently taken a wrong turn in trying to get back to the main highway and ended up in what appears to be my kitchen. Tony is talking to some other guy, who is not seen. I laugh and tell him he has taken a wrong turn and offer him some form of electrolyte drink. No, I am not kidding. It was at this point that Chris comes to bed. (In real life) So I kind of wake up and take stock of this dream that I have just had. The fact that I dreamed about salad cream hits me and I share with Chris my findings on the state of my mind while dreaming. Then I decided to blog about it. Now to you reading this, all of it was probably odd. However, to me, the most odd thing about it was being asked to get the salad cream during the beating of Christ. Now I'm no psychologist or anything, but I would have to say that this all points to my mind being the consistency of scrambled eggs. I'm sure that having read this, you would agree. Salad cream? Really? For the next 3 weeks all I am going to be able to think about is Kryten saying salad cream...and that people is how my mind works.

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