Wednesday, November 7, 2012

So, how much can the average human take?

It seems the only way I can catch a break is to fall down a flight of stairs. I have always heard that "God will not put more on you than you can bear". I can even back this up in scripture.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

However, today this does not make me feel better. Why? Because I am wondering how much I can take and how much I will be asked to take. I just got a call from the doctor's office that the CT I had last week showed a nodule in my lung. I am being sent to a specialist to check on this new development. Now this could all be nothing or this could be terrifyingly life threatening. At this point, it all looks bad to me because I do not have enough information. I do know that any nodule anywhere is generally a not so good thing. Nodules are not normal, they are growths that occur when something goes wrong. So, is the thing that went wrong a little benign rapid growth or cancer? I can not answer that yet. I have never really been a smoker and have generally tried to stay away from for me to have lung cancer would really be ironic.

However, this is not the only thing going on in my let me run the list down for you: My uncle just died. I'm behind in my schoolwork. My psych office just kicked me out because I don't have money to pay my copays. I can not find a new doctor to prescribe my medicines. My father is in poor health. My mother is in poor health. And various other things I should not mention in mixed company. I feel overwhelmed, yet in the middle of it all there is calmness in me. And that only comes from God. But still, I wonder, how much more is coming??? How much more will I be required to walk through. I am tired and distracted and in need of a little sanity, but there is none on my horizon.

It would not be fair not to mention the good things that are happening too...Chris has a possible job and he is subbing and applying to sub at various school systems. My kids are healthy and happy. I have not lost my home. I have not lost my van. So things could definately be worse. Anyway, that's the update for today....

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